Being a parent is normally met with great happiness and excitement. This is a time of joy, anticipation and fulfillment. Even movie stars whose marriages are notorious for their brevity use ‘belly bangs’ as a badge of honor. Kate Middleton’s pregnancy put a smile on the face of the Royal family and the Media drooled over such a newsworthy event.
But Andrew and Penny Stanway, who did a study a few years ago, say in their article “Choices on Birth” that 40% of women have mixed feelings about their pregnancy and 10% are positively upset. 70% of mothers are indifferent to their babies at birth and four out of five think that the image of motherhood is romanticized.
Some attitudes that cause a lack of excitement in parents:-
• Fear of the unknown is the most important reason. Mothers, relatives and friends exaggerate their own birth experiences, complications that may occur, and even the likelihood of death. This gives the expectant mother a distorted appearance of childbearing, as if it were a dangerous disease to be feared. Susan Arms, in her book “Immaculate Deception,” says women are tricked into believing in “risk-free” birth. Even the Bible speaks of the pain at birth as a curse for Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.
• Fear that the child may be abnormal or have various disabilities.
• Doubts about your competence or maturity to be a parent.
• Increased fear of responsibility. This is somewhat selfish, as raising children is a time-consuming and full-time job.
• Loss of freedom. Due to lack of time, children are seen as an imposition or a nuisance that requires lifestyle changes and changes, especially in relationships with spouses.
• If the child becomes pregnant through rape or a loveless relationship, the woman develops a subconscious resentment towards the child growing in her womb.
• Lack of spousal or family support takes away a woman’s enthusiasm for childbearing. Single mothers make up about 10-15% of all pregnant women. Not all of them are happy with their pregnancy. There may also be financial concerns.
• Beauty loss. At various stages of pregnancy, the woman loses her shapely figure. His weight increases, his legs swell, his blood pressure may rise. In the first months, there may be a complaint of vomiting. The excessive pigmentation of her skin, especially on her face, makes her feel ugly.
How to deal with unexcited parents:-
1. Education: The aim of education is to acquire accurate knowledge about the anatomy, physiology and functions of the body during pregnancy and childbirth; to dispel myths, superstitions and ‘ex-wife stories’ about pregnancy. God bestowed great honor on women, making them co-creators with Him as they brought life into this world. This removes all the hassles and inconveniences during pregnancy.
2. Encouragement: Young couples should develop a positive attitude towards pregnancy. Conflicts in relationships between spouses should be resolved before considering pregnancy. If the relationship is on rocky ground, pregnancy can only stress them out and pull them apart. It is important that the husband and wife are involved in the well-being of the unborn child. The husband has an obligation to support his wife. Parenting requires maturity, commitment, and readiness to make adjustments as needed.
3. Enthusiasm: Parenting is God’s gift to couples. It improves the quality of their life. The excitement and anticipation of a new addition to the family should be sustained throughout pregnancy. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “As always, this is a great time if we know what to do with it.” Spouses should embrace each other emotionally. They must develop inner strength and stability by trusting the God who gives life.
“Children are the Lord’s inheritance, and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalm 127:3
“Every child is a new thought from God, always a fresh and bright possibility,” says Kate Wiggins, a mother.
The parenting job is a challenge to be accepted and a responsibility to be enjoyed. It is an opportunity to grow and mature emotionally. Happy couples create happy parents. There is every reason to be excited.